Categorized | General Interest

Vice Presidential Nominees Gone Wild: The First and Last Episode

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And I thought last week’s debate was laden with homo-eroticism. Well, the sexual tension at the VP debate last night was so thick, you could drill it with a drill. Could Palin and Biden share a sordid side– and a sexual history? Who could blame Sarah for falling for Biden’s charms? He is, after all, the real VPILF. (See the Biden Bonability story I broke.) It may be an Obama/Biden versus McCain/Palin race. But last night we got served a steaming hot Biden/Palin sandwich, on the side.  Here are the best sexually charged inappropriate moments of the debate.

  1. Pre-Debate Foreplay starts with role play. Palin asks, "can I call you Joe?"
  2. They’ve spiced up the dynamic with a butch fem role reversal in which Sarah’s lapel is ten times the size of Biden’s. The Topsy Tail Palin rocks adds a highschool girl je ne sais quois.
  3. Palin tries to make Joe Biden jealous by blowing audience. She blows them a kiss and will engage in heavy winking throughout the night.
  4. Biden flirts back hot and heavy "you can call me Joe"
  5. Joe opens debate by alluding to their tried and true sexual compatibility and chemistry: "It is a pleasure to be with you"
  6. Biden refers to the bi-curious tendencies he and Obama share, which include bipartisan "reach arounds" specifically to "Dick": Obama "reached across the aisle to my colleague, Dick Lugar, a Republican, to Dick"across the aisle to my colleague, Dick Lugar, a Republican."
  7. Palin chastises Joe for being a bad boy and messing up her motto: "The chant is "drill, baby, drill" [not drill, drill, drill]
  8. Palin tries to drive Biden crazy with desire and jealousy, describing how McCain "pushed hard" during "the surge."
  9. Palin is bold in her preferences, and knows what she likes and does’t like. She let’s Joe know she’s not a fan of early withdrawal: "We don’t need early withdrawal"
  10. Palin reveals an intimate familiarity with Biden by mentioning the way Joe "points backwards"
  11. Joe brags about his stamina and virility:  "You’re very kind suggesting my only Achilles Heel is my lack of discipline. Others talk about my excessive passion."
  12. Palin has exotic and eclectic tastes: "Look at Lieberman, and Giuliani, and Romney, and Lingle," [ie i like the jews, Ay-talians, whoever those weird people who get married to lots of women and hate black people are, and lesbians]
  13. Palin is not the only rainbow lover in town. Biden (and Obama) have a Jewish fettish: "No one in the United States Senate has been a better friend to Israel than Joe Biden. I would have never, ever joined this ticket were I not absolutely sure Barack Obama shared my passion."
  14. Palin hints at a menage a trois with McCain and Kissinger: "I had a good conversation with him recently. And he shared with me his passion for diplomacy. And that’s what John McCain and I would engage in also." [Unclear whether the "would" is conditional or preterit; so this has either already happened or is on the table. Though one would imagine that during their 35-year friendship McCain and Kissinger have shared beaucoup beaucoup menages.
  15. Palin announces that she and McCain have already initiated their relationship. "John McCain has already tapped me and said, that’s where I want you, I want you to lead. I said, I can’t wait to get and there go to work with you."

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