The Koz is getting paroled. The Koz being Dennis Kozlowski who was one of the few CEOs to serve some time — not enough in my opinion. But compared to the financial crisis people, he got a good licking. Here’s a reminder from the past.

In my book “The Audacity of Greed”, I gave the Koz a lot of love…or at least plenty of ink:

Vodka spouting from a penis must be a sight to see. And, vodka spraying from the penis of a replica of Michelangelo’s David must be something even more amazing to behold. Indeed, it is quite unusual to find the words “Vodka,” “Penis” and “Michelangelo” linked together in the same sentence.

For that unique string of words, we can thank Dennis Kozlowski and, one assumes, the great love he had for his wife. In 2000, Kozlowski decided that his second wife, Karen Mayo, deserved a top-of-the-line party in honor of her fortieth birthday. So he flew seventy-five guests to the Hotel Cala di Volpe in Sardinia, Italy, where the privileged invitees played golf and tennis, ate fine food,listened to a performance by the singer Jimmy Buffett (who was paid a fee of $250,000 to appear) and enjoyed a birthday cake in the shape of a woman’s breasts festooned with sparklers on top.

However, the defining extravagance of the party was an ice sculpture of Michelangelo’s David featuring vodka spouting from its penis. I wonder what people thought as they stood watching such a spectacle. Did they think it was funny? Erotic? Artistic?

At the same time, I wonder if anyone at the party even gave a passing thought about who had paid for the over-the-top festivities. I suppose that a man should be allowed to throw a lavish birthday party for his wife, even if the excess and bad taste border on the bizarre. And, if you want to foot the bill—in this case, $2 million—then heck, knock yourself out.

But Dennis Kozlowski had a small problem, which ended up being quite a large problem—the money for the party came out of the coffers of Tyco, Inc., the company for which he served as chief executive officer. And, even though his pay had soared from $8.8 million in 1997 to $67 million in 1998 to a startling $170 million in 1999, ranking him second in CEO pay that year, the party wasn’t the only thing that Kozlowski had dipped into the company’s coffers to finance.

Among the items that Kozlowski bought for himself on Tyco’s dime included:
• $6,000 shower curtain
• $15,000 dog umbrella stand
• $6,300 sewing basket
• $17,100 traveling toilette box
• $2,200 gilt metal wastebasket
• $2,900 coat hangers
• Two sets of sheets for $5,960
• $1,650 appointment book
• $445 pincushion

Well, there you go…the guy who feasted on the shareholders money is now a parolee. Would have been nice to see him spend more time in the slammer. But, as I said above, the rest of the CEO class has mostly skated free and clear.