As a long-time, avid cyclist, I’ve been waiting for a reason to write about this. Unfortunately, the collision in Central Park between a cyclist and pedestrian gives me a chance to do so.

The incident:

A 58-year-old woman was in critical condition after being struck by a bicyclist in Central Park on Thursday afternoon, the authorities said.

The bicyclist, a 31-year-old man, was riding south on West Drive near West 63rd Street in the park around 4:25 p.m. when he swerved to avoid a group of pedestrians and struck the woman, the police said. She hit her head, and was taken to New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center, where she was in critical condition.

So, my Top Six gripes list:

1. Some cyclists are a menace. You know the type: all decked out in their racing gear, intense and focused, with visions of “Look at me, I’m Lance Armstrong” perhaps without the performance-enhancing treatments…”perhaps”…I usually think that these men–and I’ve never seen a woman act like this–are also the same guys who work on Wall Street. They just don’t care. If someone proposes to give them tickets, I’m all for it–and impound their bikes as well.

2. Some pedestrians are just out-to-lunch, particularly in Central Park. Pay-the-fuck attention. Especially tourists. The Park does not belong to you. Solution: pen tourists into the 10 block radius around Times Square on weekends and only allow them into Park areas between 11 p.m. and 2 a.m…OK, I’m only kidding…I think. But, at least, it might make sense to post signs in the entry to the Park, and other similar spots, with a sign that says something like, “Who’s In The Park?”, or even hand out leaflets with instructions on rules-of-the-road.

3. Idiot wanna-be cyclists. Look, if you haven’t been on a bike, or you ride once a year, consider moving to the slow lane. It won’t kill you. And if you are out riding with say 6 friends, that isn’t the time to have a chat while spreading yourselves out in one row and blocking the entire road for everyone else.

4. Idiot parents. Those are the parents who think it’s really cool to take their kid who has no idea how to ride a bike into Central Park, and give no instruction to the kid about riding on the slow-speed side of the street. Instead, on any given day, particularly weekends, you’ve got kids wildly swerving into bike lanes where experienced cyclists are riding at normal speed. Solution: have a Child Services rep stationed in Central Park, and take the kid away from the parents…OK, I’m sort of kidding. But, why shouldn’t a parent be ticketed for allowing a kid to ride in an unsafe way?

5. The police are partly responsible. They don’t bother to enforce traffic rules that have anything to do with cyclist rights–I’ve counted at least 3 instances in roughly the past year where a truck/taxi was parked in the cycling lanes in my neighborhood…and a cop car was up a block away…doing zippo. They just don’t care. Start giving out tickets for any cycle lane blocking. Drivers complain about cyclists in the road but what’s a cyclist to do when, in some of these instances, s/he has to swerve out to the traffic because some jerk is blocking the lane.

6. Citibikes. I’m all for the program. But, the Citibike “cyclists” give the rest of us a bad name. They ride wherever they choose, swerving here and there with often no clue about the concept of “no, you can’t just go against the traffic.” And, no helmets? How did that ever get allowed?